More Topa, less Paxil

I started my second dosage of Topamax today. That makes a total of 50mg of Topamax today. I only took 10mg of Paxil tonight. I don't expect to feel a difference tonight. I might wake up to huge brain zaps tomorrow. I can't say if the Topamax is helping my headaches. I'm having headaches due to having a fever.
I'm still very sick. My 2 year old son is sick too. We were awake a lot, last night. At some point, my husband left the bedroom. Ethan and I were hogging the bed. I'm sure our combined heat was radiating.
As far as my mood goes today, I've been very cranky. I've been very annoyed. I don't know if it is due to the Paxil decrease or cold. I still haven't had a cigarette. I have only thought about wanting a cigarette one time today. I feel like I'm walking around in "la-la" land. That might change once I stop taking the cough medicine. Robitussin always does that me.
I don't have a clue what tomorrow will be like. I will just wait and see.

...a bit later

It is now a bit later in the evening. I can't get to sleep due to the fact that my nose is stuffy and I can't breath. I'm sweating like crazy. I am very VERY irritable. I had to come to my bedroom. I left my husband in the computer room and brought the laptop to our bedroom. I needed the piece and quiet. I realized he was annoying me. I was annoying by hearing him talk. It was completely irrational. I decided I need a little "me" time. I will read and eventually fall asleep.

cough cough

I can't stop coughing. My through feels like I swallowed razor blazeds. I can't wait to get over this cold. I still haven't had a cigarette. I haven't wanted a cigarette. I am still experiencing the same side effects. I have even less of an appetite now.
My only medication related complaints are about the Paxil withdrawel. I didn't have brain zaps today. I had a more weaker version of brain zaps. They were more like brain buzzs. I can tolerate those. I had a bit of an anxiety fit today, while shopping for groceries. I had to leave the store before getting everything on my list. I almost broke down in tears for no reason. I felt as though I could hear a pin drop all the way across the store and the rest of the world was moving in slow motion. I was instantly better, when I walked outside. I believe I will deal with these things better, once I am back to 100% health. I hate colds! Don't we all??

Barb

PS, I found an interested link about quitting smoking and Topamax. http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/508960?rss

Blah

It is two days later. I think "blah" sums up how I feel. Is it because the Topamax or Paxil? No, I don't think so. I'm sick. I can't stop coughing. My throat is sore. I have a fever. My chest hurts when I breath. I hope it is a simple cold that passes soon. If it doesn't clear up by Monday or Tuesday, I'll call my doctor.
As far as the Paxil goes...I am still at 15mg. I don't notice any withdrawel symptoms. So far, so good.
As far as the Topamax goes....I'm still at 25mg taken 1x a day. What side effects have I noticed? I have noticed a huge loss of appetite. Is this a bad thing? Not really, considering I'm overweight and snack on way too much junk food. I have an aversion to junk food actually. Doesn't that sound weird? I've really been in the mood for fresh fruits and veggies. My sensitivity to spicey foods has increased. I've always enjoyed spicey foods. I couldn't eat a slice of pizza last night. My toddlers were chowing down, while I was fussing like a baby at the spicey flavor. I have been sleeping so well. It is wonderful. I just close my eyes and I'm off to sleep at night. As far as dreams go, wooah Nelly! I have had such vivid and strange dreams. I don't know if those are Topa or Paxil related. Thirsty doesn't even begin to describe my need for H20! I could drink an entire lake! I have noticed an odd side effect. As I type at work, or type now, words just seem to be spelled incorrectly. Some of the words can be as simple as "blue" or "later" or other complex words. I'm not sure if this is a Topamax side effect or Paxil.
As far as the headache pains go, they are better. Better is all I can say. They are not gone. I will wait and see how the pain feels as my dosage increases. Happy New Year! Barb.

Oh yeah, I forgot to add...I haven't had a cigarette today. I'm not quitting because it is New Years Eve or any silly reason like that. I woke up today, feeling ill, and thought "my chest hurts and a smoke will only make it worse." The physical withdrawel symptoms of smoking usually only last a week(sore thought due to celia growing back,more mucus,coughing due to more mucus,headaches,etc). Call me silly, but aren't these the same things you experience when you have a cold? I might as well kill two birds with one stone. After I get over my cold, it will only be the mental need to have a smoke. I think I can deal with that. I've done it before. I can do it again. I stopped smoking for 3 years, before starting again.

The ice breaker

The first post is much like a first date, job interview, meeting a new person, or visiting a new place. It takes a while to find your nitch. The point of my blog is to keep track of my progress. I plan to stop taking paxil. I have a full understanding of the many withdrawel symptoms that are experienced by people who stop taking Paxil. I know it won't be an easy thing. The other point in this blog is to document my progress with Topamax.

Why did I begin taking Paxil?
My doctor prescribed Paxil in 2003. My first son was about 2 months old. I experienced a panic attack. I had battled with depression and anxiety for several years. I started taking 20mg of Paxil and have been taking it ever since. I recently had to increase my dosage to 30mg.

Why do I want to stop taking Paxil?
The fact that I needed to increase my dosage leads me to believe I am becoming dependent upon the medication.
I go to the gym about 4 times a week and eat well. I have a hard time losing the weight I've packed on since pregnancy.
When I go a day or two without the medication: I feel depressed, sick, and have "brain zaps."
I find out more about Paxil that I do not like each day. You can read more about the things your doctor probably won't tell you here http://www.quitpaxil.info/ .
I think the most important reason to stop taking the medication is, I want to learn how to live on my own. I want to learn how to deal with emotions the way the rest of the world does. I'm not a quitter. I feel like I have used the medication to benefit and get me through the hard times. I feel like I am now at the point where I am ready to start dealing with life head on. I've learned more about life in the past few years and I'm ready to apply that knowledge!

On to the Topamax. I started taking Topamax for my migraines two days ago. I will be taking 25mg at night for the rest of the week. I have not noticed a huge change in my headaches. That is not a problem. I will begin taking 25mg twice a day, next week. My doctor informed me that we won't know what dosage works well for me until we get to that dosage. We have to work our way up to that dosage slowly. I will go back to the doctor at the end of the month and we will discuss how 50mg are working for me.

What have I noticed from the Topamax so far?
I really didn't notice anything the first day. As for today, I woke up feeling as if I'd had the best sleep in months. I didn't have much of an appetite today. I felt a bit jittery. I took my vitamins and had a small snack, although I didn't really want it. I fit about 25minutes of cardio into my schedule. Around lunch time, I had a bit of a headache. It lasted several hours. I had a bit of pasta for dinner and a slice of pizza. I couldn't eat the pizza. I seemed extremely spicey. I'm guessing it must be due to my medication. My kids ate the pizza with no problem and my husband didn't think it was spicey. I've been very thirsty today. I've drank about three - four bottles of water. So far, I still have headaches and couldn't eat pizza. That's not fun! The medication takes time. We'll see how things go.

As far as Paxil goes:
I'm weaning myself off as of tonight. I went from 20mg to 15mg. I don't know how I will feel tomorrow. We'll see.(I had to come back and edit this) I am now down to 15mg. I am going to stay at 15mg untl I increase my Topamax dose to 50mg.